Somedays I feel like this is so much easier to do than others. Everyone always tells me that God may close a door but he will open a window. I used to question that but recently i have began to feel a sence of piece with this item. I have finally began to udnerstand that God truley will open a window if the door is not open.
In the past few weeks I have received news that I was not hired for a teaching group / position that I had my heart set on. When I first found out this news I was thinking I would be devestated and lost with which steps to take next. Since than I have found the opposite. I have found myself having a trust in God that he will open the right doors for me to find a job for next year, and that if the doors are not opened that their is a reson for that, and that I am meant to either be living at home next year or that he is calling me to another location that I have not yet began to explore. Each day at school I have a huge folder with essays to work on and job applications to fill in, and as I spend a few minutes here or there working on the paperwork and writing the essays I have felt a sense of peace. Somedays I still get that nervous feeling but I find for once that the sense of peace is overriding that crazy insane question of what is going to be happeneing to me next year.
I am finding that in daily life I am seeings Gods blessings all around me, and it is almost like I am getting a slap in the face of "Jenny guess what I am still here"... This slap in the face is what I have needed recently. Before spring break I was struggling quite a bit in different areas, I found myself turning to friends and the world instead of to God to rely on during the stressful days. I was telling myself that God is awesome but that some things I need to take into my own hands.
I am not exactly sure what it was about spring break and getting away from Manhattan for a week but it gave me a new lease on my trust in God. It reminded me that God is amazing, that he won't fail me, and that he provides for me on a daily basis.
Spring break was full of Gods blessings, it was a break unlike any other. The first half I had the oppertunity to travel up to the Chicago suburbs and spend time with family and friends. This was my first trip to the area as a college aged individual without my parents which meant I actually had some say in what went on during the trip and who I wanted to see ( I didnt' travel alone, so the other individaul was part of the decision making process but that is part of what made it awesome).... I was able to spend the trip doing a multiple of things. The first full day I was back in the city i had the chance to spend the morning with my Cousin and her husband. This is a huge change for me, and I won't get into it because it would take a whole blog post to explain Gods blessing in this one...but spending the morning at church with my Cousin was the beginning of seeing what kind of changes God can accomplish and how he is bigger than anything else in this world. The rest of the week I got to spend catching up with my aunt, my best friend from grade school, a close friend from high school, and my close friend from college. I got to spend some quality time with my friend from college which happens on such a rare occasion now, that i cherish the time we get to spend together. God must have known that this was a trip that I needed because it came at the most amazing time, it has given me and energy that was starting to go missing and just reminded me how AMAZING my lord and savior is!
The second part of break was almost as amazing as the first. This spring has brought about my friends growing up, and starting a new phase in their lifes. A phase where they enter a covernant with God to honor and cherish another individual for the rest of their lifes. Yup, you guessed it, my friends are getting married. Seeing my best friend from 8th grade walk down the aisle to join hands with her prince charming brough tears to my eyes. You could see the fact that God was the center of their relationship, and by talking to them you could tell that they want to keep him the center of that relationship, and they know that if it weren't for him, they might not be together today. Watching this friend walk down the aisle though and join her husband reminded me that someday God will provide a "prince" for me, and that I just need to be patient and let it happen in Gods time... oh wow... that wasn't even the point of this paragraph...stupid rambling.... Well back on track... The weather on Saturday was NASTY as those of you from around kansas know...but it was almost a miracle to see all of my friends arrive at the wedding, some on time, some ten minutes late, some 30 minutes late (stupid flight being rerouted to Nebraska) and some 1 hour late, yet God still made it possible for each of us to be there on that special day to see our friend walk down the aisle and in front of God make a promise to love, honor, and obey another individual for the rest of her life.
I think i can only end this with one statement.... GOD IS GREAT!
